Jenn: Confession's of a Photography Student

Hey,

So today started out blahhhhhhhh. I slept on the ground last night because my back hurt so bad and even when I woke up I was so stiff I gave up on actually having a day. After a while my Marc suggested I go take a long hot shower. I put some soundscapes on Pandora and showered. FELT TONS BETTER!! After I got out of the shower, Marc had to focus again on work because something blew up (And I mean huge! Poor guy!) We hung up the phone for a while and I decided to stretch out. 

First I drank my juice and took some B12. I need to stay on top of that. I would really like to get off everything, including Tylenol. I drank my carrot, apple and berries juice and then had the inspiration to dance. I wasn’t going to have a chance to go walking like I wanted to. First of all I just showered and the thought of immediately getting dirty sounded pretty shitty. I also didn’t have much time and it was raining. So I turned the song on Country Girl (Shake it For Me) By Luke Bryan and kind of did a jigg while I was cleaning some stuff up. Where there is a will there is a way right? And boy do I have a lot of will right now. 

I talked with a lady at the airport today and she seemed pretty skeptical about everything. She had tried a lot of weight loss methods and she was back to “eat less excersize more”. Let me tell you, that doesn’t always work. If it does it takes a really long time and between then and now you could increase your cholesterol and your blood pressure. I’m not advertising a quick fix. I’m advertising a CURE. Juicing has produced real results and not just in losing weight. My allergies are diminishing, my migraines are completely gone, my skin is healthy, I have a lot of energy, my blood sugar stays in a healthy range and I’m happy. It’s truly amazing how happy your body becomes when you give it what it really wants. Yeah I *think* it wants this and that but really it wants fresh things. Things it’s maker designed. 

When I say I have tried everything…let me give you a small list:

- Curves (not a thing…that and they kept calling me out on my tennis shoes)
- L.A. Weight loss (lost 14lbs in 3 months)
- 3 Personal Trainers (gained a butt ton of muscle, didn’t lose a pound)
- A dietician (you can call someone obese and fat so many times. That and I saw her eat a funnel cake once at a baseball game and immediately lost all credibility)
- Hormone speciallist (told me to get off birth control, wasn’t having sex anyway right?)
- The Atkins Diet (Not a pound)
- SlimFast (i hate chocolate shakes now)
- YMCA Daily (judgy little eyes everywhere)
- 3 memberships to gyms (gained muscle and a stalker named Randy. A 42 year old male who wanted to go and smoke weed with me a 21 year old at the time but told me I couldn’t bring anyone or tell anyone where I was going….??)
- Weight Watchers (nothing)

I even tried the weight loss pills those skinny bitches on tv promote at the expense of potentially killing my liver and kidneys. I tried everything. I tried walking, I tried swimming. I have spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to fuel no results. And I never cheated, never half assed it. I actually tried. So I’m not kidding those people who say nothing is going to work. I have been there. I have been in the position of when your laying on the bathroom floor crying because you’ve finally accepted that you’re going to be the way you are for the rest of your life and there isn’t shit you can do about it. I have been there. And now I’m telling you how I’m fixing it. Juicing and soon HCG. 

Jessi and Victor (my sister and brother-in-law) found a place called Natural Blendz that juices things for you. It only cost close to 5 dollars for 16 ounces. How fun is it to find these gems around town. Mom went to a place tonight (although she was cheating on the diet…shame shame) called Fern and its a vegetarian/vegan place. She raved about the pickled celery and cheese, and all the other food they tried. As jealous as I am, I’m also pretty impressed to see people in my family making life changes. Her blood pressure is down (Blessed be) and her blood sugar has fallen from 140 to 90. Impressive aye? There’s got to be something to this juicing. 

I haven’t yet started the HCG as it is not here yet. Hopefully tomorrow it’ll be here. I’ll have to wait to Saturday to start them. I’m thinking about doing only one loading day and make all my food instead of going out and getting toxins to put back in my body. As easy as this diet is, the first couple days are pretty foggy when it comes to toxins leaving your system. I have a sensitive stomach anyway so I kind of knew I was doomed. 

For those who aren’t really sure what HCG is this is how it was explained to me. You know those 3rd world countries where the mothers who are just skin and bones have these really juicy plump healthy babies? It’s because they produce this make up in their system called Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin or hCG. It takes the fat out of you and give it to this phantom baby and you lose close to a pound to 3 a day. Its not water weight, it is a strict diet but it works. Do a little research and I’ll bet you a bottom dollar that if your wanting to lose weight this could be your answer. And it is a shit ton safer than the lapband system or gastric bypass.

So far it has been really fun. We joke and laugh a lot more than before. We see this giant blue sky in our life when before it was partly cloudy all the time. I was also reading in this devotional book by Sarah Young: 

“I am able to do far beyond all that you ask OR imagine. Come to Me with positive expectations, knowing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish. Ask My Spirit to control your mind, so that you can think great thoughts of Me. Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me,to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.” (Ephesians 3:20-21; Romans 8:6; Isaiah 40:30-31; Revelation 5:13). 

I know many of you might not be Christian. But you can’t take away how beautiful and uplifting that is. Read the first and second sentence again. There is no limit to what God can accomplish. I am so empowered by His word and God knows right now I need all the empowerment I can handle. You see people’s main excuse sometimes is “I don’t have the will power”, “I don’t have the self control.” Uhhh… neither do I. I have the lease amount of self control. I am though dedicated. I want to see this work. I owe it to myself and those I love to get healthy and happy. Marcus was even incredible today calling me pretty and beautiful. I can’t tell you how awesome it feels to hear that! And actually believe it. For so long I tried to look pretty and I tried different things to satisfy what I thought society wanted from me but even then I was failing. My motto for a long time was “No one might want her but damn shes good at applying make up”. Something in me wasn’t done. Something in me wanted to feel right and she is now getting her chance. I think I like this Jenn. She’s still a smart ass. She still swears like a sailor. She still laughs. She still caring. She’s still inspired. Now I actually have the energy to be the person I really wanted to be all along. 

Marc even said today, if I didn’t lose a pound he’s proud of me. I’m proud of me too. If I didn’t lose a pound (praying I do because…lets face it…there is no limit to what God can accomplish :P) I am happier with the person I am. I still have gloomy days, I still complain but there’s so much to look forward to now. I know this post may be a little deeper than my last one. Hopefully that doesn’t deter yall from reading. I love all you guys. :)

Love,
Jenn